"mate snr prefers baths to showers"
"these facts are not narrated as mate snr speaks in the 3rd person"
"mate snr thinks drugs should be decriminalised within the white community"
mate snr was born jewish and followed the family tradition of performing his own circumcision. at age 42, after realising he hated judaism, he successfully underwent corrective surgery on his penis.
"mate snr recons he heard mozart way before he went all mainstream"
"mate snr thought he invented the happy birthday song"
"mate snr was astonished to discover that mate snr wasn’t the name upon his birth certificate"
"mate snr is currently in contact with a small loans company with the intention of using the money to get James Earl Ray tattooed above his left nipple"
"mate snr firmly believes that abortion should only be legal in the black community"
"last time mate snr put on sunglasses he ended up killing three young white children who he mistook as ‘darkies’"
